Doing the hard yards almost as tough as the world’s busiest damage limitation PR department, Sepp Blatter’s at FIFA’s Evil Swiss Lair, comes ‘This Week in Australian Football’.

It has been revealed that Central Coast Mariners missed out on a huge PR/marketing opportunity as Mick Jagger and his band members during their recent tour approached the club. The band reportedly offered to trade Mariners match tickets for backstage passes for the coaching staff to their Sydney gig. Central Coast denied this and the band went to Sydney FC instead. Apparently it is true that a Rolling Stone gathers no Moss.

Brisbane Peugeot FC have taken extra training sessions after the embarrassment of being beaten by world football’s worst away team, Melbourne City. Brisbane players were taken to Fortitude Valley for some extra shooting practice. Tune in next week to find out if any of the boys scored.

The FFA have launched an initiative to boost crowd numbers at games not involving Australia at the upcoming Asian Cup in January. The ‘adopt-a-nation project’ gets Australians to follow a visiting side’s progress in the tournament. The plan has taken off not just in Australia but overseas as well. It looks like commentators and fans alike are going to have a hard time following the Jordanian national team who will sport 11 players running around with ‘Jolie-Pitt’ on their backs.

Chaos has ensued as the FFA schedules the FFA Cup Final to be held in Adelaide for the clash against Glory to decide the competition. Glory are outraged based on their travel schedule and away disadvantage. However, it has become apparent that the citizens of Border Village are the most upset, threatening legal action. ‘Obviously, the Border Village Recreation Reserve is the only fair venue for the FFA Cup Final, right in the middle of the two clubs. We will even sweep the cow paddies off the pitch before kick-off.’ The town is ready to go having already cancelled their Carols by Bushfire-light on December 16 for the big game.

Australian football fans have marked the 10-year anniversary of Johnny Warren’s passing respectfully with only two exceptions. The many ‘I told you so’ banners and tweets from football fans Australia-wide were not received well by Western Sydney Wanderers and Melbourne Victory fans who will not be told by anyone and are happy to tell anyone about it.

See you next week where we can see if anyone can beat Terry Antonis while we investigate what new excuse Socceroos are using not to play for the national team.

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Despite having robbed Leigh Broxham of the ball in Year 10 inter-school soccer Kyle is still a twenty-something awaiting take-off on an illustrious footballing career. In the meantime he can be found bashing his head against a wall watching Arsenal and Melbourne Victory pass the ball sideways and being a pest on Twitter.