In pubs across the land there are endless types of people you run into on any given night. It’s time to find out which one of them is most like your A-League club.

Sydney FC – The guy who never gets kicked out cause daddy owns the pub

There are plenty of haters who claim Sydney FC have the refs and maybe the whole FFA in their pocket. Are they right? Who knows.

But if they were, the Sky Blues would definitely be the rowdy bloke who has the most money, is best at pool and not matter what he does, will never get kicked out with the old man running the show.

Wellington Phoenix – The foreigner who everyone else tears shreds off

No matter what foreign land they’re from be it New Zealand, England, the US, Tasmania, you name it, every pub has at least one.

He’s the chirpy foreigner who tries to get involved in the banter and is actually a pretty top bloke but anytime one of the boys gets a bit lazy and is struggling for a comeback, the insults just default back to poor old mate’s silly accent or love of sheep.

Brisbane Roar – The old fella who’s always talking about the good old days


This one works on two levels. Obviously the age of the Roar squad has been the butt of many jokes and to be fair 12 players over the age of 30 is pretty ridiculous.

But the good old days with Ange Postecoglou at the helm and sweeping sides apart with their ‘Barca-esque’ football seems a distant memory now. It can’t hurt to remind everyone in the watering hole about how good those days were but it really is time to move on.

Melbourne Victory – The guy who drifts around the pub hitting on girls

Everyone knows a bloke who considers themselves a bit of a hit with the ladies. Often has a fresh haircut and probably dons an expensive suit to cover up their insecurities.


You may not like him or the way he does things but he usually gets results and that’s why Victory suit this character right down to the ground.

Newcastle Jets – The guy who everyone likes

The Jets are a pretty likeable bunch and that’s mostly down to the fact that they’re usually rubbish and no one considers them a threat.

Everyone is happy enough when they see this guy doing well because life has been tough for a long time, it’s about time he got a break and things started going well for him.

Melbourne City – The slick inner city bloke who only drinks ciders

Too much money for his own good so he’s often betting on the dogs or the horse racing in Hong Kong but if he’s not there you can pretty much guarantee he’s in the pokies room having a cheeky slap.

Never seems to win much money back but as long as everyone knows he’s the most loaded bloke in the pub then that’s a good night for him.

Adelaide United – The guy who everyone forgot to invite

He lives in a really weird place that no one knows how to get to and they think less of him for living there as a result. On the odd occasion someone does remember to invite him for a drink, he always turns up half an hour late.

Western Sydney Wanderers – The guy who always gets kicked out no matter what

He bloody hates old mate who never gets kicked out because his dad owns the place. He probably does get a bit rowdier than he should most nights but the management seem to like picking on him and are more harsh than they should be at times.

Once set off a flare in the pub which got the police involved and lead to a lengthy ban. Probably fair enough though.

Perth Glory – The guy who goes home early every night

He always shows up with the best of intentions every time but apart from one night, never seems to last the distance until closing time.

Says he lives too far away and needs to get back for work in the morning but everyone knows that’s just a tired excuse.

Central Coast Mariners – The broken guy who always cries about his ex from years back after a few drinks


He’s an absolutely shattered man who tries to put on a brave face when he rocks up but get a few drinks in him and he can’t stop balling about his ex-missus called Arnie who left him for the son of the bloke who owns the pub a few years ago. 

Most of his mates know he was out of his league the whole time they were together and deep down he knows he’ll never do better so what’s even the point of moving on?

 

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Living and studying in Newcastle. Pretty obsessed with football. Newcastle Jets and Chelsea FC fan