It’s what you never thought you needed to know until right now: what were the worst football kits in A-League history?

I have scrawled through the depths of the dark web to bring to you a list of the most hideous, repugnant and controversial kits ever to grace our beloved league.

RELATED POST: The five best A-League kits in history

Like seeing your own Facebook posts from 2009 and realising you were neither funny or cool but actually quite embarrassing, reliving these memories is not for the faint hearted.

You have been warned; continue at your own peril.

North Queensland Fury

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North Queensland Fury graced the league for two seasons but their colour scheme and kit design has left a lasting impression, which will live long in the memory.

A concoction of white and green separated by a seemingly random diagonal stripe of darker green, the Fury did their best to make sure they looked as unappealing as possible during their brief A-League tenure.

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Images of Fury marquee Robbie Fowler’s fair British skin glowing tomato-red, trapped beneath the Fury’s ‘tropical green’ kit are burnt into my brain, not soon to be forgotten.

The Fury bowed out of the A-League in 2011, and it’s safe to say they made more of an impression on the league with their kits than with their on-field performance.

Melbourne Victory away kit, 2011/12 season

The 2011/12 season was the Victory’s worst ever campaign, as they finished 8th on the table.

This was probably due to the fact they had tradies playing all of their away games.

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This fluorescent yellow look belongs more on a construction site than on AAMI Park, and the Victory’s terrible season was an accurate reflection of the horrific kit they were forced to wear throughout it.

Not even Harry Kewell, the poster-boy of Australian football, could make this kit look stylish.

2011/12 was Kewell’s one and only season with the Victory, and you can’t help but wonder if he would have stuck around if he wasn’t so scared of what awful colour he would be forced to wear in the following season.

Brisbane Roar, 2010/11 season

Arguably the best side in A-League history, the Brisbane Roar of 2010/11 were just as dominant as they were unstylish.

An unappetising combination of an orange shirt with maroon shoulders and shorts, this abomination of a kit was a complete contrast to the Roar’s beautiful style of play under Ange Postecoglou.

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Much like when Dave from your Sunday league side forgets to bring the team shorts and you borrow spares from the opposition, the Roar seemed to have borrowed their shorts from Queensland’s State of Origin side and forgotten to give them back.

Like staring directly at the sun, if you watched this Roar side for too long you would eventually damage your retinas.

Central Coast Mariners, 2015/16 season

Prepare yourselves, ladies and gentleman, this list is about to go up a notch.

No, your eyes don’t deceive you; there was once an A-League side that literally had a picture of a tree on their kit.

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Central Coast Mariners are known for outlandish experiments and quirks: think Usain Bolt, inflatable sauce bottles and post match sing-alongs to The Horses by Daryl Braithwaite.

But their 2015/16 home and away kits take the cake.

Yes, there are palm trees at their home ground, but that is no reason for plastering one across their kit.

You don’t see a flare printed on the front of the Wanderers kit, or the Victory players running around with George Calombaris’ head superimposed on the front of their shirts.

Some things belong at the ground, but not on your kit.

Finishing at the bottom of the table in 2015/16 was a fitting end to a season which started in terrible fashion at the kit unveiling for the Mariners.

Rumour has it numerous kit designs floated about for the following season with a wooden spoon printed across their kit in place of their beloved palm tree.

Newcastle Jets ‘Air Force’ kit, 2015/16 season

Not to be outdone, the Newcastle Jets hierarchy saw what the Central Coast planned to wear for the 2015/16 season, and said to the Mariners ‘hold our beers’.

Not long after, they came up with this atrocity.

Paying tribute to the RAAF (Royal Australian Air Force) Base in nearby Williamtown, the Jets’ Air Force kit displayed four aircrafts piercing through a cloudy sky.

If you hoped a special kit released by the Jets might have been a relief from their odd colour scheme of gold, red and blue, the result was instead a quirky graphic a six-year-old could have easily put together on Microsoft Paint.

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You can’t help but feel that the Jets should have instead gone with a design displaying the camouflage worn in the RAAF, so that nobody ever had to see it.

And so, in one season you could have travelled down the F3 from Newcastle to the Central Coast to see two of the worst kits in A-League history on display.

But which do you believe takes top honours as the worst A-League kit ever made?

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Football nut, student journalist and firm believer that Berisha dived in the 2012 A-League Grand Final. Covering Perth Glory for the 2018/19 season.