Your football fan Christmas list

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As we enter the silly season, you’re probably already waking up and wondering why there is a tree in your house and cringing every time you hear some painstakingly cheerful Christmas carol on the supermarket’s PA system.

If you’re stuck for gift ideas for the football fans in your family we here at The Football Sack have kindly come up with a list for you. Please have your credit cards handy.

The Strip

This one’s easy. Nothing says Christmas in Australia like seeing your mum or dad clad in their preferred English Premier League kit. Be sure to get it two sizes too small, it only looks good when the main sponsor’s logo is stretched across the belly to the point where it becomes indecipherably faded.

If the recipient likes to stand out from the crowd, try the away shirt. When they’ve crawled out of bed at 3am to watch their team play, they’ll feel good knowing they’re standing out from the crowd. The fact that said crowd is on the other side of the world is totally irrelevant.

For stocking fillers, try some socks and sandals. It will complete the look and make them the envy of all their friends.

Knife and Tupperware

For the oranges! A halftime staple at youth games across the nation, without some sliced oranges stored in a clear, air-tight container football in Australia would just be a demonstration of second half fadeouts. The knife you get needs to be extra-sharp, for only the best sliced oranges will do for the future Matildas and Socceroos of this country. Failure in this area will almost certainly result in your kid giving up the game by their 12th birthday.

A whistle

We all have a mate that would be a better referee than the ones in the league at the moment. Actually, based on this season I know a few garden rocks that would, too. So let’s make them walk the walk and give them a whistle this Christmas. A whistle is pretty cheap, so you should probably shout them the accreditation course, too. If the recipient is a teenager get them some white spray paint to practice marking out set-piece measurements on the pitch. Even if they don’t referee any games, the local graffiti will be nice.

What’s on your football Christmas list. Let us know @thefootballsack

 

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