A guide to people you’ll find at A-League games

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No one could blame you for having a wandering eye during an A-League game. Even if you’re 100% devoted to the game, surely you sneak a look around you at half time.

To save any shock or confusion, we’ve compiled a small list of the regulars you can expect to see week in week out.

Football nerds
No one is going to argue that. Sport during school may have been a nightmare but becoming a die-hard A-League fan was second nature. If you’ve hit the jackpot and find yourself sitting next to one, don’t hesitate to quiz them. Anything to do with stats, match-ups, stats, pre-game rituals or what David Villa ate for breakfast, you’ll feel very knowledgeable for the 10 minutes between your first and third beer. But be careful, if you manage to spill even a drop of beer on their new kit…. you’re going to ruin their day.

The drunken dad
The A-League season has finally arrived and those two hours every week are golden. He often forgets to look at who’s playing, he checks with the ticket seller countless times to ensure he’s not sitting in the unlicensed area and is on edge until he finally makes it to his seat; the safe zone.

The drunken Dad has a mandatory two beers in hand at all times (two in each that is) and will often get pretty fired up, mostly at the ref because he’s still unsure who’s playing and doesn’t have a free hand to check the fixtures on his phone.

There’s also the aggravated dad who got stuck with the kids and has been instructed to “Only have a few!”

He behaves in a similar manner, however is restricted to one beer per hand and is heard shouting at the ref more frequently. This is a stress relief technique used to release the anger built up from having to take his daughter to the bathroom every 10 minutes.

The Euro snob
They’re on exchange in Australia and staying up until 3am to watch the English Premier League has gone to their head; the lack of sleep has lead them to believe that maybe the A-League is just as good now. By the time they reach the stadium, they’ve convinced themselves it’s going to be an epic match and why hadn’t they thought to do this sooner!? You know, what the hell, let’s get the face paints out! Would I like to sit in the supporter’s den? HELL YEAH!

Their hype plummets as the game progresses and they decide to leave 10 minutes before full time to avoid the rush getting home (even though it’s 2-2).

The single 20-something fan-girl
NRL and AFL seasons are over and they didn’t have much luck, so off to the A-League they go to scope out some talent! They’ll cheer, high five each other and make comments like “Such a good kick, did you see that?”

They can be seen leaving the stadium early alongside the Europeans, not because of lack of interest, but because they know what pub the team is headed to after the match and need to be seated in a spot where they’ll be ‘noticed’ once the team arrives. And c’mon, they don’t want to look desperate, so they can’t have anyone knowing they actually went to the game.

The hopeful family
This team is lead by two very hopeful parents. Their agenda: if we take our son to enough football games as a child, we’re bound to be watching him on the big screen one day! On average, 98% of these children become either a drunken dad or nerd, but most families believe their son is the 2%. They’ve got a season pass and their outfits are seamlessly colour coordinated.

The commentator
This delightful character doesn’t stop making comments throughout the game, talking to no-one and believing he should be the coach.

The referee
Corrects those who sit around him when they unfairly abuse the referee. Dude, we don’t care, being one-eyed is what football fandom is all about.

I can assure you some regular people go to matches, too…. occasionally. So be sure to observe who you’re seated next to this season, but to avoid 90 minutes of awkwardness, probably don’t mention what category you’ve put them in.

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