If A-League clubs were Sex and the City characters

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With football and almost everything on lockdown because of COVID-19, I can only expect binge-watching old television shows will reach new heights.

I have started the charge with Sex and the City, so if you were wondering which Sex in the City character your A-League team most resembles (you probably were not, but I am telling you anyway), this is the list for you.

Adelaide United – Stanford Blatch:

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Considered the show’s fifth lady, Stanford is a secondary character who sometimes has their own adventures. Much like Adelaide’s mid-season winning streak, their chances at a strong story arch have slowly dropped off. 

Brisbane Roar – Harry Goldenblatt:

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Despite the lacklustre appearance, the Roar are often viewed as unassuming, much like Harry. Brisbane are showing they possess just as much heart and determination in turning their season around.

Central Coast Mariners – Steve Brady:

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Steve Brady is the recurrent nice guy. While most characters evolve and grow as the seasons go on, Steve stays stagnate throughout the series, much like the Mariners sitting at the bottom of the table quite consistently.

Melbourne City – Miranda Hobbes: 

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A workaholic and sometimes a little bit of an overachiever, City have channelled their inner Miranda to try and work their way to the top of the table. While they have fallen slightly short at the moment, no other squad has put in as much effort.

Melbourne Victory – Mr Big:

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Basing this one solely on the current season Victory are frequently at a loss based on their commitment issues out on the pitch. If Victory could get over the intimacy issues, they might be able to find some solid ground. 

Newcastle Jets – Smith Jerrod:

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Despite a rocky introduction much like Newcastle’s start to the season, Smith ends up being one of the most supportive and encouraging characters on the show.

Perth Glory – Carrie Bradshaw: 

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A slightly controversial call, but the Glory have tried to be bold this season. Another squad who started the season trying to claim the number one spot on the table. Sometimes their priorities may be skewed with A and D grade performances. Yet at the end of the day, they try to maintain their best form.

Sydney FC – Samantha Jones:

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Proud and confident on the pitch, Sydney portrays the same straight-forward and confrontational style of play Samantha shows in all her endeavours.

Wellington Phoenix – Charlotte York: 

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Idealistic and committed to their season, Wellington has the makings of Charlotte York. Going through this season with hope and confidence, Wellington are having one of their best seasons since the 2014/15 season.

Western Sydney Wanderers – Aidan Shaw:

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Trying their hand at finding their own happily ever after, the Wanderers have tried their best to make it into the top six this season. While they have had some successes such as their 1-0 victory over Sydney, it does not seem to be their season just yet.

Western United – Anthony Marentino:

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Blunt and a little bit bawdy, when Western United put their minds to it, they can dish out some fierce competition. Much like Anthony, they can be direct and forceful on the pitch when they want to be.

Feature Image Credit: Perth Glory 

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Suzanna Telai
Football enthusiast and student journalist, covering Western United for the 2019/20 A-League season