5 reasons to stop watching the A-League this week

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Toilet seats are for tea drinkers.

Keep smiling A-League, the diehards will watch you through thick (Hernandez) and thin (Antonis). They’ll never get too old for this shit. And the band-wagoners – they’ll be back. That should be enough 90’s film references to distract you from this week’s woeful refereeing, surely? Yeah, me either.   

You should stop watching the A-League. Hell, you should stop watching football completely after such a horrible weekend. Here’s why. 

1. Erik Paartalu is off the market
The second Google suggestion when you search for this Roar midfielder is “Erik Paartalu shirtless” so it’s no wonder this is the number one reason to stop watching the A-League this week. Now that he’s engaged to long time partner Amy Falconer women and men alike will have to watch Paartalu for how often he reaches completion. Pass completion that is.

2. They’re melting, the plastic chairs are melting
Rather hot this weekend eh? Bet the substitutes felt like the chairs beneath them had made like the witch of the west. For as long as the FFA persist with these eyesores we’ll persist with our condemnation of them. Plastic chairs, they’re wicked.

3. A-Leagueroos 1 def Hong Kong 0
Holger picked the best and brightest from the A-League; an A-League All-Stars if you will. And even in 4:3 without the excited hyperbolic commentary they failed miserably. Whilst it was fun watching a merry band of misfits, that’s still our national team.

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4. iDon’t understand the KiT nonsense
One for the kit nerds. The major sponsor has done it and this season the Hyundai A-League jumped on board the iGeneration. Football is all about us after all – see marketing campaign. There’s the i20, the i30, and the, uhh, IFiLL. Not quite sure what’s going on myself, and neither so it seems does Newcastle who have kept all lettering uppercase. Far too confusing, so I’m opting out.

5.Refereeing is making it boring
It’s okay when defenders aren’t very good – it allows goals to be scored. It’s okay when forwards remind you more of a donkey than a Rooney – it makes you giggle. But when the man in the middle is off his game it detracts from the actual game. Use some of that TV deal to pay for fulltime referees please.

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Matt Greenlaw
Editor of The Football Sack for three years, Matthew now spends his time sipping merlot whilst watching the reruns of Thursday FC.