This Week in Australian Football: Round 2

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Battling the issues on a level that only A Current Affair would sink to comes the latest episode of…

This week in Australian Football…

There has been a real estate boom in the Adelaide suburb that Bruce Djite lives in. All three houses around his residence were snapped up by young families paying over the odds for the dwellings. After Djite’s wonder goal on the weekend the families’ kids leisure times are safe because “lightning never strikes twice”.

Besart Berisha has revealed why he was outraged that Archie Thompson chose not to celebrate at the corner flag after he set up the strikers goal last Friday. “We have no time during the week for recreation. Muscat trains us hard. Archie promised me that if I set him up he would come with me to the corner flag and teach me how to perform his dance routine. I have seen it in action: he gets all of the girls and some of the boys.”

The Commonwealth Bank of Australia has finally come through for former Socceroos star Mark Bosnich after they returned the $12,000 that was skimmed off his ATM card when he was in Brazil during the World Cup. “I am relieved but not shocked, this is not the first time I’ve lost a lot of money to a South American” he recalled.

After FIFA released their most recent World Rankings placing the Socceroos in 84th, their worst position since 2004, the footballing media immediately turned to coach Ange Postecoglou baying for blood. Ange Postecoglou was jubilant: “It’s all part of the plan. We are just lulling the world into a false sense of security. I’m not bothered that Uzbekistan, Jordan, Oman and the UAE are ahead of us. They won’t be laughing when we come from seeding pot five and smack them all up in future World Cup qualifiers.” It has been revealed that Mat Ryan may be facing disciplinary action for keeping a clean sheet, it seems that the lure of his clean sheet bonus being tax free in the Emirate was too much for the young stopper.

Outrage has spread through the RBB after the Melbourne Victory active end dishonoured their support by mocking the group during Wanderers 4-1 defeat by the Victory. In true supporters style, the RBB are planning their revenge by returning the favour. At this stage it is unclear when the group will make good on their mockery and start protesting against their club, the media, the FFA, their own players and begin fighting amongst themselves.

Join me, @kylechandler14 next week for our feature story: 10 things I hate about You(ssef Hersi)/Kew (Jaliens)/Eu(gene Galekovic)

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Kyle Chandler
Despite having robbed Leigh Broxham of the ball in Year 10 inter-school soccer Kyle is still a twenty-something awaiting take-off on an illustrious footballing career. In the meantime he can be found bashing his head against a wall watching Arsenal and Melbourne Victory pass the ball sideways and being a pest on Twitter.

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