A few really weird ways Adelaide United could improve

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Whether you support the Reds or not it’s obvious their start to the recent A-League season has been horrid.

They’re without a win, without belief and without confidence. Perhaps Adelaide could benefit from some unusual techniques to help them get back on track? Here’s a few:

Have a huge night on the town

Sometimes a good old team bonding session can do wonders to a group’s morale. The Adelaide boys should all gather at Guillermo Amor’s house on a Saturday night and pre drink like there’s no tomorrow. Then, when they are sufficiently drunk enough, hit a club and don’t leave until morning. It doesn’t matter if Osama Malik passes out in the cab, or if Jimmy Jeggo (much like his current football) fails to hit the target when urinating. The experience could be incredible and turn fortunes around.

Learn Spanish

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Guillermo Amor doesn’t speak very good English and there has been talk of a possible communication breakdown between him and his players. To solve this simple issue, Adelaide players could go and learn Spanish. Not only would this benefit United in their current predicament, it would also assist United players in the long term when stars like Craig Goodwin and Tarek Elrich eventually sign for Real Madrid or Barcelona. They would know the language on arrival, making it easy to congratulate Iniesta on being one of the best players in the world, but not quite good enough to ever beat Messi to a Ballon d’Or.

Visit a cemetery

Cemeteries are full of people who no longer grace this earth. By visiting one of these, United players may put things into perspective and realise there is more to life than the disappointment of losing football matches. In turn, this could relax and improve their mental and physical state, helping to decrease errors on the field leading to more goals and victories. Completely ridiculous but it couldn’t hurt.

Have a fortune teller read their fortune

If the team know in advance how they’ll perform they’ll be more ready to face their future opponents. If their fortune read reveals a bottom of the table finish it’ll reveal the pressure. If it reads that they go on an unbeaten streak and win the league, well then that’s just dandy.

Go fishing off the jetty

Glenelg is a lovely part of Adelaide and where better to bond as a team in order to improve performance. It’s also where Marco Flores farewelled the Adelaide faithful, so spiritually it’s got loads of Red energy. There’s nowhere better than the Glenelg jetty to go on a group fishing expedition and United will surely snag a win as a result.

How else could Adelaide United improve their A-League?

 

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Tim Jucius
Third year Journalism student at the University of South Australia and the current Adelaide Utd Intern at TFS. Love football and support Tottenham Hotspur in the EPL. Twitter: @Juciist