6 larrikins that would make better A-League owners than Clive Palmer

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Clive Palmer’s empire is set to implode and he wants the good people of Queensland to bail him out.

In 2009 Clive brought the A-League to the Gold Coast but that too would come crashing down around him.

Former United coach Miron Bleiberg has revealed some of the billionaire’s eccentricities that led to the club’s downfall. That got us thinking. Who, out of Australia’s weird and wonderful public figures, could do a better job than Clive when it comes to running a football club?

Tony Abbott

It’s important for any A-League club that they know how to deal with the media and even more so that the person at the very top is capable as well. With Tony in charge that would never be a problem. Need to make everyone feel comfortable? He’ll bite into a raw onion to lighten the mood. Pesky reporter asking a sneaky question? He’ll stare you down for thirty seconds until you move along. PR cannot get any better.

Christopher Pyne

With the Wellington Phoenix’s issues this season, they’re in dire need of a ‘fixer’. And they don’t come any better than Christopher Pyne. He’ll fix it. How couldn’t you trust him?

Craig Foster

The greatest of leaders are those brave enough to bring about change. With Fozz leading the way you’d be sure to see that. The club under his thumb would implement an academy based on those of Barcelona and Ajax. The thought is enchanting. But if you so much as dare lift the ball off the ground, even at training, you’d be sacked. No room for route one here.

Jacqui Lambie

A-League supporters have been crying out for some support from the higher ups in recent weeks As long as she is convinced it’s for the benefit of ‘Straya, Lambie would back the fans until her dying breath. Just ignore the other stuff she says.

Gina Rinehart

If there’s one thing she’s good at its making money. She has the funds to lure in a marquee signing of your club’s dreams. Ronaldinho? Done. Timmy Cahill? Already in the shirt. Frank Lampard? Check. But she would also dig up half your stadium if she can make a buck out of it.

Russell Crowe

Rusty is a big sport lover. He’s got connections to the South Sydney Rabbitohs and he is an avid Leeds United supporter. He’s got heart and passion for everything he does. Just maybe a bit too much sometimes. Please don’t annoy him. If he wants to make a call, just let him.

 

These eccentric Australian larrikins wouldn’t necessarily be the most successful A-League owners but they would be a lot of fun. Just as long as they’re not in charge of your club, that is.

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Lochy McIvor
Brisbane Roar and Tottenham Hotspur supporter. Jesus would have played in the hole. Follow me at @lochymci

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