The Hyundai A-League can sometimes feel like a merry-go-round of mediocrity. So we’ve compiled a squad of the league’s eleven most mediocre players to have done the rounds.
GOALKEEPER:
Liam Reddy. Clubs: 7 (Newcastle, Brisbane, Wellington, Sydney, Central Coast, Western Sydney, Perth)
The Perth custodian isn’t the worst keeper in the league but he’s the only one to be booted from two clubs for disciplinary reasons. He’s also the only keeper to decide to vacate his net and dribble through the opposition. There’s no better #1 for this team.
DEFENDERS:
Jamie Coyne. Clubs: 3 (Perth, Sydney, Melbourne Heart)
When Sydney FC signed the former Perth Glory captain the club’s website read: ‘Sydney FC strengthen squad, sign Jamie Coyne.’ If you listened closely you would have been able to hear half of the Glory support laughing.
Jamie Coyne has been perth’s worst player this season, which is obviously saying a lot. Yet he’s the only one never to get dropped? #aleague
— Brett Taylor (@behindthegoals) November 3, 2010
His stints in Sydney and for Melbourne Heart certainly weren’t any better.
- Anthony Golec. Clubs: 5 (Sydney, Adelaide, Western Sydney, Perth, Central Coast)
When you’ve played for five separate A-League clubs and averaged a paltry 12.4 league games per team then not only do you belong on this list but you might just get the captain’s armband. Golec returned to the A-League to play for the Central Coast after a nice little backpacking trip around Moldova, Iran and South Korea.
- Daniel Mullen. Clubs: 5 (Adelaide, Melbourne Victory, Western Sydney, Newcastle, Wellington)
Daniel Mullen’s inclusion in this list is a lot like his A-League career. It’s a gap filler.
- Marc Warren. Clubs: 3 (Central Coast, Sydney, Perth)
Marc Warren is the type of player that strikes fear into the hearts of goalkeepers everywhere. The only problem is it’s usually his own goalkeeper.
Marc Warren costs Airdrie the game once again?
— Sean Smith (@SeanrnSmith) October 27, 2012
Hot Tip: When a player didn’t make it at Airdrie United it might not be a great idea to bring him back to the A-League.
MIDFIELD:
- Trent McClenahan. Clubs: 3 (Perth, Central Coast, Sydney)
Almost a carbon copy of Marc Warren in both playing history and in looks. After a stint in Scotland he returned to the A-League where he failed to impress anyone. His last A-League club was Sydney FC where he got to play alongside the likes of Del Piero, Brett Emerton, Lucas Neill, and Jason Culina. Many Sydney fans are still unsure if that was a genuine signing or something for the Make-A-Wish Foundation.
- Isaka Cernak. Clubs: 6 (Brisbane, North Queensland, Melbourne Victory, Wellington, Perth, Central Coast)
Cernak’s illustratious A-League career saw him play 79 games for six different clubs between 2008 and 2015. That’s less than 12 games a year meaning that he saw more full moons than games.
- Jonas Salley. Clubs: 4 (New Zealand, Sydney, Adelaide, Gold Coast)
He might have been a bit of a fan favourite in Adelaide but his stints in New Zealand, Sydney and the Gold Coast earn the midfielder a call up here. Somewhat bizarrely, we’ve actually only managed to secure Salley on loan from the Chinese Terrible Journeyman XI. Turns out the big Ivorian has played for more clubs in China than most people could name.
- Kristian Sarkies. MF. Clubs: 3 (melbourne Victory, Adelaide, Melbourne Heart)
An attacking midfielder and set-piece specialist by trade, Sarkies entered the league with a lot of promise. Unfortunately that promise saw the Victorian amass an underwhelming 7 goals in 79 games at three different A-League clubs. In the end he was less famous for his handling of dead balls than he was for his handling of John Howard’s bald head.
Kristian Sarkies! Did that just happen?! #Victory2007 pic.twitter.com/z4upowoLq2
— Melbourne Victory (@gomvfc) February 18, 2017
FORWARDS:
- Jeremy Brockie. Clubs: 5 (New Zealand, Sydney, North Queensland, Newcastle, Wellington)
Brockie’s inclusion on the list might feel a little bit harsh. The Kiwi international’s time in Wellington was a success by most measures. It’s his 16 goals in 74 games at four different clubs before his Phoenix stint that get him the call up here… and for being a white guy with dreads.
- Matt Simon. Clubs: 2 (three stints) – (Central Coast, Central Coast, Sydney FC)
Matt Simon will spark some debate. Not only because the title of “journeyman” barely applies to a couple of trips up and down the M1 but also because it’s hard to call a man who has scored 8 goals in the last 80 games a striker. He makes the list for his terrible scoring record more than his frequent flier miles. He’s honestly more likely to get a booking than a goal. No, honestly:
#aleague end of season 2016-17 stats. Yellow cards per 90. Unsurprising that Matt Simon leads this one so did minimum 900 mins too. pic.twitter.com/5Z7s8vm7CY
— Rob Scriva (@rovingrob) May 12, 2017
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