A Football Sack listicle about The Football Sack. (You won’t believe number 4!)

-

Last year, we released a set of listicles and you asked just how far we could take this…

Well, it took us almost five months but buckle your seat-belts for possibly the most meta, most niche listicle we could possibly present:

The Top Five Football Sack Rosters of all time.

You can watch the A-League live for only $25 a month. Click here to read our review of Kayo Sports and to start your 14-day free trial.

I am Adam Daunt, a severely bored former intern, and I love bringing hard-hitting, radical news to our audience but when that isn’t around, I like writing about mundane topics like The Football Sack Roster.

So what is The Football Sack Roster?

Well, I am glad you asked this perfect lead-in question, dear reader, so simply put:

Every Monday, our fearless leader Christian Layland provides us with the TFS Roster detailing our assignments for the next seven-day period. (Note: Occasionally, on account of his rising fame and exceedingly prominent social schedule, it may end up being another day).

Much like a MasterChef cliffhanger on Friday, once all your copy is done for the week you tend to live in anxious anticipation for Monday. Or as I call it Roster DayTM.

Some people live for the weekend. Some people live for the workday to be over. I live for the Football Sack Roster.  I hate the unknown. I repeatedly look at a menu before attending the restaurant, I’ll read a plot summary of a book just for a heads up. I’ve lived on the edge of writing without a schedule, it was dizzying and made me incredibly nauseous.

The TFS Roster is a comforting blanket that soothes my muscles and bones, providing all the familiarity of a Sydney FC finals appearance and the calmness of Jamie Young in goals.

So without further ado, what makes the top five?

#5

At The Football Sack, we don’t just do soccer. We also do pop culture. Normally we never venture away from Simpsons references but in this roster we explored the land of Kings Landing.

Note: If you haven’t caught up on Game of Thrones don’t worry this contains no spoilers.

Note: Although if you haven’t caught up on Game of Thrones by now don’t bother.

“Not behd” as people who lack any coherency in basic spelling say, but not the best.

#4  

You might be wondering, what is it about this roster that made the top four? How did it scale to such lofty heights?

Is it the punctuality? Is it the article idea? Is it how photogenic Christian looks in that profile picture?

Not really. It’s just a great time to mention that I was in Europe at this point in time and I really feel I don’t mention it enough. While I was blazing a boozy trail from Prague to Rome, these desk monkeys were stuck here.

#3 Penultimate TFS Roster 2018/19

When it comes to roster creation, it’s all about getting the fundamentals right. This one has several good qualities:

  • Firstly, a mention of my name
  • Secondly, a cool topic
  • Finally, a mention of my name

It’s not hard to be a good roster but to be a great one, you have to something that catches my eye. If that fails, just tag me in it and tell me how great I am.

#2 Week one of the 2019/20 season

Hot off the presses is this little nugget of gold. It encapsulates several things which make for a good roster:

  • Posted in “Prime Time”
  • Thorough explanation
  • It also encapsulates the best Football Sack thread to grace the TFS Facebook Group.

P.S. Said thread also involves me (and I cannot stress this enough) jokingly suggesting a “Top Five Football Sack Roster” article and look where we are now.

Don’t joke kids. Stay in school.

#1 The OG Meme

They often say the original is the best and as the eldest child in my family, I can say this is a scientific fact. It also applies to this TFS Roster. Not original in iteration but original in its concept.

It is this roster where the famous TFS lore is born:

This also has few elements that make for a good TFS Roster:

  • On-time and on budget
  • Originality (unlike the A-League transfer window)
  • An interesting article topic

However, sources say that this is the first time one of my comments on Facebook has been liked by someone who isn’t my mum. I’d like to take this time to say that is fake news and haters are going to hate.

So, there you have it. We can’t get any more specialised than this. It’s impossible.

Latest Articles

What does it mean to be Melbourne Heart-y?

A club with the world at its feet constantly falling at the most important hurdle and allowing its identity to be dominated by failure...

Victory finally have a winner in Head Coach search

It was third time lucky for Melbourne Victory in the 2019/20 A-League season to find a Head Coach. With the announcement made earlier in the...
Adam Daunt
A student at University of South Australia who hopes his writing disguises his lack of sporting prowess and a fan who masquerades his choice in mediocre teams as being hipster